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April 20th, 2008
09:51 pm - home stretch
I get to see my baby in less than a month! And, seriously, it's about time. As hectic as life is right now, I've just got this vision of walking down the street holding Anah's hand. It's what's keeping me going.
And she's living with me over the summer, which is going to be so amazing. It's going to make the ridiculousness of the summer so much easier to deal with. Not only have I got to prep for my thesis, I also have an internship for credit at Def Jam (which involves handing in a pretty intense portfolio) and I've GOT to find a part-time job that pays actual money. Damn you, internships that pay nothing.
But everything is going to be okay, cause I'll have Anah back home with me. And my new apartment is in the process of being set up, my first year in grad school is coming to a close, and Anah and I are going to be having our 7 month-iversary in June.
It's kind of funny, actually. We've been together for nearly six months now, but we've only been physically together for two months (if you don't count the 10 days in Italy). Honestly, I can't believe that I doubted that we'd make it through. We've spoken nearly every single day that she's been away. I e-mail her every night so that she's got something to wake up to, and then we speak on the phone or text to figure out when we'll both be home and in front of a computer. And I've tried really hard not to like...advocate her being inside talking to me all the time. It's such a conflict, sometimes, because I work all day, typing papers, and talking to her makes me feel so much more at ease. At the same time though, I don't want her to miss out on seeing everything she can in Italy. Turns out, it's not really something I had to worry about; Anah is WAY better at planning the things she wants to do then I've ever been.
Still, I can't WAIT to not have to coordinate when we're going to be able to speak. I can't wait until I can just wake up and have her there.
And now I haven't got anything more to say, because it's 10:00pm (and I know where my children are) and I have to go to sleep so that I can wake up early and work.
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January 25th, 2008
10:26 pm
I can't wait for her to come back and make all of these places ours again.
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January 23rd, 2008
09:27 am
I don't want to go back to my apartment, and sleep in the bed that we slept in for two months. The last time I slept in it, Anah was there with me. I don't want to get Tony's, or walk down 1st, or go to Bobst, or see the square. I don't want to do any of that without her. But I have to, and it hurts so badly.
I woke up this morning dreading having to go back to my apartment. Even just being in there for five minutes yesterday made me cry for like an hour. I don't know how I'm going to do this. It's going to be so lonely without her.
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January 20th, 2008
03:19 pm - La mia ragazza bella
I'm in love. I'm happy.
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December 29th, 2007
03:34 pm - the latest of my life plans
So I had an epiphany last night and didn't realize it until just now. I think I figured out what it is that I want to do with my life. Here it is: I'm going to write a thesis that has to do with music (hopefully something practical), and use that to get a job in the music industry after graduation. I'll stick with that for a while, maybe ten or fifteen years, and build up my knowledge of the business, contacts, capital, and all that. Then, I'm going to start my own label.
I think all of my other plans (journalism, teaching, advertising, etc...) were just ways for me to avoid facing the near impossibility of what I really want to do. Once again, I'm really good at hiding from myself.
Honestly, my biggest fear isn't that I'm going to fail, but that I'll be too scared to try...that I'll quit at the first setback or that I won't have the courage to risk everything or anything.
Whatever. I suppose there's nothing to be done about it now. Best to get back to work and make sure I graduate in the first place.
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December 25th, 2007
09:50 am - Well, I believe I'll follow suit.
Where did you begin 2007?
Playing Scene It with Kristen.
What was your status by Valentine's Day?
Single. Bah.
Were you in school (anytime this year)?
Hardcore style.
Did you have to go to the hospital?
I don't think so.
Did you have any encounters with the police?
Unlike Anah, I'm not a delinquent.
Where did you go on vacation?
Well, Ptown obviously.
What did you purchase that was over $500?
Close, but not quite.
Did you know anybody who got married?
Indeed - My cousin.
Did you know anybody who passed away?
Yeah.
Did you move anywhere?
From uptown to downtown?
What sporting events did you attend?
Ha.
Describe your birthday:
A bunch of my friends took me out to a great Italian restaurant, and Slick had the waitress bring me cake with a candle...and then we all went drinking on Little West 12th street. And then at 4:00am, the really hardcore friends took me to play beer pong at Mo's.
What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2007?
Be able to spend all of my time with one person, and be completely in love.
What has been your favorite moment(s)?
- Going to Ptown with Anah
- Dinner at Tamarind...with Anah
- Everything with Anah
- Finishing the semester after a three week work haul
- Getting an A on that ridiculous sitcom paper / class
- Having to pull over in the middle of the drive up to Ptown
- Spending New Years with Kristen
- Random Jenna trips to the city
- Labor day weekend at foster farm
- Making new friends
- Kait's July 4th party
There has to be more.
What's something you learned about yourself?
That I'm actually capable of love.
Any new additions to your family?
No...well, aside from Jessica. But does marriage count?
What was your best month?
December, although it was half absolute crap. November was awesome too.
What music will you remember from 2007?
Oh man. Clearly a lot of these are going to be musicians I discovered in 2007, not just musicians that began playing in 2007. Um...Regina Spektor, the Books, the new Ani album (reprieve), Daniele Silvestri obviously, Air, Lilly Allen, Amy Winehouse...I rediscovered Paul Simon. Hmm...there's tons more.
Made new friends?
Yes
New Best friend?
Definitely another.
Favorite Night out?
Any of the nights with Anah. But also any of the nights with Kristen and Jenna. They tend to be shitshows.
Any regrets?
My mother once told me that the only real sin is regret.
What do you want to change in 2008?
I kind of just want things to stay the same.
Overall, how would you rate this year?
Incredibly stressful.
What would you change about 2007?
I don't think I'd change anything, actually.
Other than home, where did you spend most of your time?
The library.
Have any life changes in 2007?
You bet. My Anah.
Change your hairstyle?
No, but the urge has been building up for a couple years now.
Have any car accidents?
Nope
Buy a new car?
Nope
New BF/GF?
You bet.
Get a new job?
A new internship! Yay Woozyfly!
Do you have a New Year's resolution?
Why bother? You can make resolutions all year round.
Do anything embarrassing?
I embarrass myself daily, it's really nothing new. (I'll go with Anah on this one)
Buy anything new from eBay?
I'm sure I have.
What was your favorite purchase of 2007?
I Love Lucy lunchbox maybe? Or My lemon suit.
Get married or divorced?
No
Get arrested?
Nooo.
Be honest - did you watch American Idol?
I used to watch it all the time, but i haven't really been interested since senior year.
Did you get sick this year?
Yeah, but nothing really bad.
Start a new hobby?
I started collecting keychains since I had so many already.
Been snowboarding?
What? No.
Drank Starbucks in 2007?
Obviously, but I have an espresso machine now, so there we go.
Are you happy to see 2007 go?
I'm excited to see what 2008 brings me, but I'm definitely nostalgic for some of the moments in 2007.
Current Location: bedroom
Current Mood:  calm
Current Music: the ac
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December 4th, 2007
07:49 pm - ridin' the one way train to totally fucked
...
on another note, i took the initiative and downloaded 'Secretary' for date night.
Go me.
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December 3rd, 2007
01:21 pm - melody calls
I can't shake it sometimes; the feeling that I just don't deserve it. Not even a specific 'it'. Just that one day people will suddenly realize that I'm not whatever it is they think I am.
Or maybe I'm just insanely stressed. That could be it too.
Current Location: home
Current Mood:  determined
Current Music: the doves - melody calls
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December 1st, 2007
04:33 pm
hug.
you know who you are.
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November 30th, 2007
12:09 pm
Looks like I'm back.
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